Are People Staying Single for Longer?
I recently had a strategy session with a 36-year-old man who asked me a question I hear more often than you might think: “Am I weird?”
He wasn’t asking because he had never dated. He had. He wasn’t asking because he had never been loved. He had experienced that too. What he wanted to know was whether something was wrong with him because he was still single at 36. He wondered if he should have figured it out by now. He found himself replaying past relationships, thinking about missed opportunities, and questioning whether he had somehow fallen behind.
And my honest reaction was:
This is incredibly normal.
Not because there is anything wrong with him, but because dating and partnership have changed dramatically. People do not simply “pick” anymore.
Previous generations often married younger, with fewer options, fewer geographic moves, and fewer expectations placed on a romantic partner. Today, many singles are looking for emotional compatibility, shared values, intellectual connection, lifestyle alignment, physical attraction, and long-term partnership all at once. Add dating apps, career ambitions, travel, higher education, and economic pressures, and it’s no surprise that partnership formation is happening later. If it feels like more people are staying single into their 30s, 40s, and beyond, you’re not imagining it. Across much of the world, adults are partnering later than previous generations. Marriage is happening later, long-term relationships are taking longer to form, and more people are spending extended periods of time single.
A recent report from Singapore found that the proportion of residents aged 25 to 34 who remain single continues to rise, particularly among highly educated professionals. Similar trends are playing out across the United States, Canada, Europe, and other developed countries.
Why are people staying single longer?
There is no single reason. Instead, several cultural and economic shifts are happening at the same time.
People are marrying later
A generation ago, it was common to marry in your twenties. Today, many people spend their twenties focused on education, career development, travel, and personal growth before seriously pursuing a life partner.
Dating apps create more options and more uncertainty
Dating apps have expanded access to potential partners, but they have also created a culture of endless choice. Many singles find themselves constantly evaluating whether someone better might be one swipe away.
More options do not always lead to better outcomes.
Economic pressures are real
Housing costs, student loans, career instability, and rising living expenses have changed the timeline for many adults. Building a stable life often takes longer than it did for previous generations.
Expectations have increased
Many people are no longer looking for someone simply to build a household with. They are looking for a best friend, romantic partner, travel companion, intellectual equal, co-parent, and emotional support system all in one person. The upside is that people are seeking deeper compatibility. The downside is that the search can take longer.
The hidden challenge of delayed partnership
There is nothing wrong with being single.
Many people build rich, fulfilling lives on their own. However, when partnership formation is delayed, there is one risk I see repeatedly as a matchmaker:
People become increasingly attached to a very narrow vision of who their partner should be.
Over time, preferences can harden into requirements.
The result is that excellent potential partners get screened out before a real connection has a chance to develop.
So what should you do?
STAY OPEN. (and don’t shoot the messenger) That does not mean abandoning your values or settling for less than you deserve.
It means periodically asking yourself:
- Are my criteria serving me?
- Which preferences are truly essential?
- Which preferences could be flexible?
- Am I screening people out too quickly?
- Is there another path to meeting people I have not explored?
Sometimes a small shift creates enormous opportunities.
Expanding an age range by a few years.
Considering someone who lives a little farther away.
Being open to a different profession than you originally imagined.
Looking beyond a rigid physical type.
Many successful relationships begin when someone takes a second look at a person they would have previously overlooked.
Why a matchmaker can help
One of the most valuable things a matchmaker provides is perspective.
When you are dating on your own, it can be difficult to identify patterns or blind spots. A matchmaker can help you distinguish between standards that protect your happiness and preferences that may be unnecessarily limiting your options.
Sometimes the conversation is not about lowering your standards.
It is about refining them.
The goal is not to convince you to date someone who is wrong for you. The goal is to help you identify where flexibility might create more opportunities for meaningful connection.
An intentional approach to modern dating
If people are staying single longer, the answer is not panic.
The answer is intention.
Continue building a life you love. Invest in friendships, hobbies, community, and personal growth. At the same time, remain open to the possibility that your future partner may not arrive in the package you originally imagined.
The singles who tend to have the most success are not necessarily the ones with the longest list of requirements.
They are the ones who know what matters most and remain curious about everything else.
If you’re wondering whether there may be opportunities you’re overlooking, a conversation with a professional matchmaker can provide valuable insight into your dating strategy, relationship goals, and where greater openness might create unexpected possibilities.
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