Look, I’m going to be real with you. If you’re sitting at home right now thinking “I’ll start dating in the new year,” you’re making the biggest mistake of your dating life.

I recently sat down with Abby Urban and Rachel Malak on Positively Philly to talk about dating during the winter months, and here’s what everyone needs to hear: this is not the time to hibernate.

My Story: Why I Do What I Do

I got into matchmaking because I was set up with my husband through a mutual friend. And honestly? I didn’t see it at first. I was like, “really him?” But she got me out of my own head, and that changed everything.

Now I work with people who are these nice guys who get overlooked. You know the saying: nice guys finish last. I’m giving them the start.

The Real Problem with Modern Dating

When someone mentions Hinge or Bumble to me, here’s what goes through my head: “It’s just like when you’re at the grocery store and there’s like 30 types of mayonnaise to get, right?”

What we’re experiencing right now is analysis paralysis and the paradox of choice. We see that with dating, but here’s the truth: connection with one person, when you get to be seen, is so meaningful. But you have to cut out all of the other options and focus on the one.

Dating Isn’t Meant to Be Done Alone

This is crucial: “Dating isn’t meant to be done alone. And when you get feedback from people, it helps you see things that maybe you don’t when you’re stuck in your own mind.”

That’s the role I serve for my clients. Sometimes you need someone to get you out of your own head and show you what you’re missing.

Get Intentional NOW (Not on January 1st)

The first thing you need to do is get intentional now. Don’t wait until New Years.

Here’s what I do with my clients: write out a list of what you’re looking for. Pen to paper. Do it physically. This way your whole system, your whole body can be like “I’m doing this” instead of just voicing what you’re looking for.

Setting the intention right now can be a really effective thing, no matter what your goal is.

Train Your Brain for Gratitude

“You really need to train your brain not just to have the attitude of gratitude during Thanksgiving, but all year round.”

When you meet someone, practice being like “I’m so grateful to be here with you right now.” That type of energy will attract people to you. You become a magnet when you have a gratitude practice.

Make people feel valued when you’re with them. Be present in the moment. You never know what the connection will lead to, even if it’s not a romantic connection.

Stop Hibernating… Seriously

I know it feels like you should just hunker down, stay inside, binge your shows, do your own thing. The cold has hit us, I get it. But here’s the mistake people make with dating: they just go “set me up with people.”

What you really want to do is say “can you invite me out to something? I will come with you.” Because this is not the time to hibernate.

Just the other night I ran a dating event where we painted pottery. People came up to me saying “I came out tonight. I’m really proud of myself.” And I made a lot of matches (real matches) in one night.

It’s about creating the space for those connections. Instead of the pressure of “you are matched up with this one person,” it’s “go to the event, see who connects.”

The Bottom Line

If you’re feeling left out or like you want to jump into something, don’t wait. Get strategic now. Write your list. Go to events. Say yes when friends invite you out. Practice gratitude. Cut through the noise of endless swiping.

And if you need help getting out of your own head? That’s what I’m here for. Find me at @michalmatches on Instagram. I love to talk to people about how to get strategic to find love.

Stop making excuses. Stop waiting for the “perfect” time. The perfect time is now.